Present in Form Only

Some days I seek silence the way I seek cupcakes with buttercream icing on others. On the days I want to live solely in my head, the quiet is sweet and always fleeting. My mind fills with words, ideas, and I keep them all to myself, selfishly, delightedly savoring them, toying with them until they bore me. I fear there isn't enough to share, never enough to go around.

Today, I meandered through my morning routine and wandered out into the dark and mist, all without saying a word. The swish of the tires on wet pavement was the only music allowed in the car, while my thoughts floated free elsewhere. The lights were still off when I arrived at the office. Those are my favorite moments in cube city, sipping hot green tea, basking in the absence of noises other than those of my own creation.

When the Others arrived, I put on my headphones and found the stillness between the compact lines of a Smiths song.