Own-ly Me

One of my new favorite bloggers Rachel Wilkerson recently posted one of her rules for life: Thou shalt own it. It’s worth your time to click over and read. If you’re short on time, basically, her post was about deciding to start owning her decisions and stop letting other people second-guess her or express unsolicited disapproval. She said, “If you’re sick of feeling guilty and ready to own it, remember this: tell people what you want, what you’re doing, what you need. Don’t ask for permission or advice.” And, then she invited the rest of us to join her in declaring what we’re “sorry, I’m not sorry” for. This really really resonated with me. And, lots of other bloggers, check it out here and here and here. Here are a few things I OWN:
 

•  I like to run. I haven’t always, but I do now. You might even call it a passion. I don’t care if you think it’s crazy to pay money to run (race registration) or get up while it’s still dark out on a Saturday morning to run. I don’t need to hear about it. You don’t have to understand it or want to join me. Sorry I’m not sorry. 

• In fact, I don’t really like running with other people. I know I’m “supposed” to join a running club or make running dates with other like-minded runner girls. I see them all in twos during the week and in packs on the weekends. Not me. Running is my time to think and not about keeping up or slowing down or making conversation. Just call me the Lone Runner. I own it.
• While getting healthy and then starting long-distance training, I’ve cut WAY back on my alcohol intake. It really affects my ability to run well. One glass of wine on occasion, and I’m good. But, you wouldn’t believe how much crap I get from people when we go out. Peer pressure much? It’s like others believe they can’t have fun if I don’t have a drink in my hand, too. I can enjoy my time out with or without a buzz. Consider it owned.
• I like nice things--clothes, house wares, food, vacations. I’m (very) financially responsible, but I’d rather save up for top-of-the-line or my dream item than settle for whatever’s on sale. I’d rather go out to eat only occasionally and go somewhere fabulous than eat at chains with a coupon. I’d rather go on one vacation where I stay at the Four Seasons than five where I stay at Super 8. Call me a “consumer.” Call me shallow. It’s my money, and I spend it how I want. Sorry I’m not sorry
• I don’t do anything, just because that’s what “people do.” I know, I know. I’m in my 30s. I’m supposed to fall in line and put a ring on it and get busy having babies. In fact, depending on who you ask, I’m way behind schedule. Well, I absolutely own my life choices thus far. B. and I are 100% committed, with or without the state’s stamp of approval, and I like that my “kids” can be left at home with food and a litter box while I go out for the day.  I make choices when it’s what I want, when I want to do it, not because if fits everyone else’s conception what I should be doing. This applies to all areas of my life. Sorry, I’m not even a little sorry.

So, that’s what I own. What about you??

Force of Will

I ran 18 miles on Saturday (18.18, if you want to get technical), and it was unbelievable. I won't bore you all with yet another blow-by-blow run report, but let me just say it was a one in a million run. There was no walking, my legs felt a-mazing, my splits were back to normal, and I wasn't even tired until the last mile. And, I went out just hoping not to end up with a bloody knee again!

While I was running, I had plenty of time to think...back to about a year and a half ago when I first started running, how difficult even short treks were then, and how much endurance I've built.  If anything, the experience of running and training for long distance races has taught me about the power of, well, willpower. I've come to believe that (barring devastating disability or disease...and sometimes even then) you can train your mind and body to do almost anything with enough determination and patience. Most of the non-runners who find out about my marathon goal will say something to the effect of "there's no way I could do that." And, I tell them, sure you could, if you really wanted to. Most people don't really want to run a marathon (which is totally fine and understandable--do whatever activity floats your boat). But the point is, you have far more potential than you give yourself credit for. Trust me, the former non-runner who will rock her first marathon in 5 weeks.

Like I've said before, achieving your goal takes determination and sacrifice. Nothing worth having is free, right? But, for every ounce of effort and sacrifice I've put into my goal, I've gotten back more in the form of confidence in what I'm capable of. The following apply specifically to things I've learned while getting healthy and then in training, but I've found I now believe them to be true in other parts of my life, too:

• I'm not so stuck in my ways that I can't make drastic positive changes in the way I live.
• I'm much stronger than I think I am.
• I can keep going even when my mind says I want to quit or not start at all.
• I'm no longer intimidated by the enormity of my end goal--all I have to do is what's required right now, this minute.
• If I genuinely want something, I'll do whatever it takes to get there.

I won't get into cheerleader mode on you, but I think those 5 bullets apply to pretty much everyone. There's nothing you can't accomplish, health and fitness related goals or otherwise, if you decide that's want you want for your life. Give yourself the chance to surprise yourself--b/c I guarantee you, you will!

Back on Track

Soooo last week didn't go exactly as prescribed by my training plan. My motivation seemed to have floated out a window somewhere. I did my Tuesday morning 5 miles, but then on Wednesday morning, I was too tired to get up and decided to go with B. to get in 8 while he went biking on Grant's Trail. I failed to remember that there are no water stops there and that in general running after a full day of work just isn't my cup of tea anymore.  I did 6 in the time it usually takes me to do 8. Not good. I made up for this on Thursday by doing 7 instead of 5. So, one way or another my midweek mileage was done.


I knew going into the weekend that getting in a long run, especially 18 was going to be difficult. B.'s brother was getting married on Saturday night. I'd already decided that I'd have to split up the run at the very least...I wanted to wear my favorite cute heels (that get far too little wear in these days of sore, tired feet), and I didn't want to be falling asleep in my wedding cake. So, the plan was 8 miles on Friday morning and 10 on Saturday morning. Friday didn't happen. Strike one. On Saturday morning, at 4:30 a.m. it was pouring. I reset my alarm. At 6:00, still pouring. I gave up at that point and went to sleep.

There was still time for redemption, I told myself. I could get up on Sunday morning before the scheduled wedding brunch and get in a minimum of 10. Not so much. My stomach is no longer used to consuming wine, red meat, and frosting all in the same night. I spent most of that night rolled in a little ball holding my tummy. After the brunch, I ran errands with B. and basically decided to consider the weekend a wash in both food and exercise and start fresh on Monday.

It's SO easy to get off track. It's like no matter how much exercise I do (and how much I love doing it most of the time) or how good I make myself eat, my "default" is lazy and fat. After a week of bad eating, it's like starting all over again to remind myself that no, in fact, we don't eat ice cream every day and that french fries are not our friends.

Exercise is easier for me to get back on a roll with. The weather is much cooler this week, so after work yesterday, instead of taking a full rest day, I went for an easy 12 mile bike ride out at Grant's Trail. It felt great! And, this morning, I put in 5 and tried to push myself a little bit faster than usual. There's something about watching the sun rise on a 65 degree morning that makes my whole day. I love rolling into work at 7:30 knowing I've done more already than most people do all day!

To make up for last week's lack of mileage, I'm doing 18 this weekend instead of taking the step-back to 13. That will mean doing 18 and 19 on back-to-back weeks, but I think I'm up for it. As far as food goes, all I can do is start fresh today and make good decisions one meal/snack at a time.

6 weeks to go!